I was talking with a women recently who really listened when I spoke, she is one of those people that makes you feel like what you are saying to her in that moment is the most important thing she will hear that day. You know most people aren't REALLY listening, they are thinking of what they will say next, how they will be witty or prove that they are smart. I will admit I do it sometimes and I don't want to be like that. I want to be someone that is in the moment...and that got me thinking...maybe that is why I am so drawn to photography and scrapbooking. You are freezing time and you can be in that moment over and over again. It seems like no matter how long I have been absent from journaling and taking photos and scrapbooking, I always come back to it with such excitement because I really do love it so much. I love taking that time to recognize, to appreciate and to remember.
I don't know whether or not you are watching Brothers & Sisters, but if you aren't...you are definitely missing out. Every time I watch that show I am reminded life is just happening...always...it's happening all around us all the time and it doesn't wait for the best time or the right time, it doesn't slow down when things get out of hand or too hard...it keeps going. I think this is also something I am realizing more and more as I get older, that life will hand you both the good and the bad all in the same week...the same hour, but it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop if you can't handle it. There are still obligations and people to love, things to get done. There is still happiness to experience even during the sad. There are still holidays and birthdays, first kisses and new puppies. I guess what I am trying to say is we are NEVER ready for what life throws our way, but really could we ever be? Would we handle things the same way if we had known ahead of time? Think about some of the hardest things you have ever had to go through, now think about how you got through them...step by step, day by day. It's the only way we CAN get through them, anything else is just too much.
I have recently made a self discovery that I should have made YEARS AGO. I have discovered that I am one of those people that spends all their time in the future. I'm always mapping it out, making plans, figuring out how to make it just so and most of the time, actually 99.9% of the time, it never goes like I planned it in my head. But that's the beauty of life, you never know what to expect, it's always changing, WE are always changing and that's how it should be. That is something that is so easy to say but so hard to EXPERIENCE. It's hard to live in the moment. It's hard to be present and appreciate, especially if you are always too busy making plans.
So I think that this post was just my train of thought about why I love to scrapbook and why it matters so much to me. I haven't been moved to scrap in a long time...too long and I want to have fun with it again. I recently cleaned out my craft room and I sat down and looked through all my scrapbook pages and I was so moved. I was moved at the way I remembered things, the way time goes by so fast, I was moved to tears over lost loved ones, I was laughing hysterically over photos of my family and friends...and that's it, that's the good stuff that I was talking about, the stuff that just keeps happening no matter what. I think now more then ever I am realizing how important it is to document...to freeze time and remember for a while what life was like when, cuz it will all be different...and it is already.
Yes. I agree. I am so glad I don't know the future. It would freeze me in my tracks. It would taint the 'here & now'. With that said, I'm still trying to be more of a dreamer. I feel "stuck" right now and wonder about purpose and what else I could/should be doing. It's one thing to try to control our future and another to just plan and be wise, but at the same time, be open to how it unfolds. Thanks for your thoughts, as always. Also, I'm crossing my fingers for J and his job prospect!!
Posted by: Jody Ferlaak | 2009.10.13 at 08:10 AM
Congrats on the new blog! I really want to appreciate your interesting blog. I hope you will updates this blog regularly. I am sure you really loved being in touch with the audience and speaking and spitting out around. You have done great work. keep it up!
Posted by: Accessoire Ordinateur | 2009.10.12 at 11:24 PM